Facebook Can Suck It

I've attempted to keep a diary or journal about once a year, every year since I can remember. And I start out thinking I'll write in it everyday. Sometimes I will do so for a few days. Then I slack off, and soon I've forgotten that I have the thing. Then one day, maybe a month later, maybe six, when I've lost an earring or need the super glue, I'll go through the junk drawers and discover the journal. I read what I wrote, and for some reason can't stand it and then the journal ends up in the trash.

I haven't quite figured out why I do this. But the only consistent thing about me keeping a journal is that I will repeat this silliness over and over.

I recently deleted my Facebook account. I had 500 friends. I truly cared about approximately 20 of those people. Then friends that I truly care about started doing weird stuff that I still can't quite figure out, like posting things about their "bestie", which I kinda thought I was, but apparently on Facebook I didn't make the cut. And that bothered me.

Then I started thinking, how the hell old are we? I'm not 8, and I don't think I could claim to have one "bestie", and that's when I deleted my account. It just was never on my bucket list to sit, in real life, on my couch, at age 31, wondering why my friend would make BFF declarations on Facebook that didn't include me. (And this also started a whole new way of thinking for me and changed my real life relationships with those people, but that's for another entry).

Which brings me to this point in time. I'm strangely lonely since deleting Facebook, and gloriously liberated.

I never felt I could be myself on Facebook. It's a weird game people play on there. No one is who they really are. For example, I don't have Tourette's in real life. But if you read my posts, one after another, it would appear that I had the internet version of it (which is partly due to the fact that I got to the point that I only felt the need to post things when I was 3/4 of the way through a bottle of wine).

Bottom line is that since I feel like I can be myself on this platform, I'll be pouring my thoughts out here. Unless I come back here in a month or six and delete it all!

Update August 2014: Originally wrote the above in 2012. I just recalled that I had this blog the other day when I was talking to my friend at a local festival and was trying to recall the nicknames my husband calls me, and I remembered that I'd started a list here. I don't think I'll delete this as I'm happy to discover that 2 years after writing this, I'm really happy I never deleted it. I know this is not the best blog on the planet, but it's mine and I will save all of this for now.

It seems to me...

I'm more of a blog reader than a blog writer.

I prefer sunny days to rainy ones, but there is a drought so I'll just be thankful it's raining.

I'll write this even though I might not be back again for a year or more.

Having a job you don't like is better than having no job at all.

No one may read this but I don't care, I feel like writing it.