Obsession is a weird thing

Spetember 3, 2014 My niece, Red Doll, is now a big sister. Little sister, we'll call her Boogie, is 1 now. I never thought any child could be as cute and beautiful and amazing as Red Doll, but Boogie is just as cute and beautiful and wonderful and I just can't help but think about how amazing my sister is at mothering these two amazing girls. I can't imagine a world without these three girls.

I haven't looked at this blog for almost 2 years now, and I'm glad I still have it. Around the time I last posted on here, I was well on my way into an addiction to Kpop and Youtube after my break-up with Facebook. It was the first obsession I'd discovered in a long time and I rode that high until lately. Granted, I've had down  moments from it. And I'm suffering a down moment now. 2013 was a strange year and I didn't bother to even look at this blog for that entire year. I was still high on my Kpop obsession and didn't need anything else besides Pinterest. I will say, thanks to my walking buddy Mo, I've discovered that I always have a low time this time of year.

I think because August 2007 is when my parents broke up their marriage of 1 million years, my half-sister exited our lives in the same fashion(a gotdam typhoon) she'd entered a year prior(taking my nephew with her), my marrigae was on the rocks due to my inability to cope with it all, and all of my childhood traumas surfaced. Since ya know, everything else was falling apart, so why not? All of it was devastating and I've still not completely recovered but I can honestly say, I'm better than I've ever been. And while it all feels like yesterday, I just realized today that 2007 was SEVEN YEARS AGO. WHAT????? WHERE? HOW?

Despite all rough patches mentioned above, and excluding a ton more I didn't even mention, 2014 is shoring up to be the best year in my life so far. I have a new niece, I've untangled my emotions with my codependent family, husband and I sold a house, and are building a new and ridiculously fabulous new house, and I couldn't have ever imagined I'd have this kind of opportunity in my life. I'm really grateful and excited and not sure what to say. But I am glad I kept this blog and I hope I'll keep up with it for a while. At least for future me that will be grateful.

Randomness that makes me laugh

These things might not entertain anyone else, but I have to share just in case there is some weirdo out there that gets me.

I was in the kitchen, and Mike was watching tv, apparently The Shawshank Redemption was on. He walks into the kitchen for a snack and casually says to me "Did you know that Andy Dufresne disappeared like a fart in the wind?"

I was taking video of my niece, who is almost 2. I was trying to get her to look at the camera, and I was badgering her a bit. She doesn't like to be on camera. So she keeps ignoring me until she finally gets fed up, and she says, with much attitude "I'm BUSY!". Still doesn't look at the camera though!

"I'm gonna motorboat that popcorn!" Me, with my beer filter in place(which means every random thought pretty much gets vocalized), at the sight of the most enormous tub of popcorn I've ever seen.

Facebook Can Suck It

I've attempted to keep a diary or journal about once a year, every year since I can remember. And I start out thinking I'll write in it everyday. Sometimes I will do so for a few days. Then I slack off, and soon I've forgotten that I have the thing. Then one day, maybe a month later, maybe six, when I've lost an earring or need the super glue, I'll go through the junk drawers and discover the journal. I read what I wrote, and for some reason can't stand it and then the journal ends up in the trash.

I haven't quite figured out why I do this. But the only consistent thing about me keeping a journal is that I will repeat this silliness over and over.

I recently deleted my Facebook account. I had 500 friends. I truly cared about approximately 20 of those people. Then friends that I truly care about started doing weird stuff that I still can't quite figure out, like posting things about their "bestie", which I kinda thought I was, but apparently on Facebook I didn't make the cut. And that bothered me.

Then I started thinking, how the hell old are we? I'm not 8, and I don't think I could claim to have one "bestie", and that's when I deleted my account. It just was never on my bucket list to sit, in real life, on my couch, at age 31, wondering why my friend would make BFF declarations on Facebook that didn't include me. (And this also started a whole new way of thinking for me and changed my real life relationships with those people, but that's for another entry).

Which brings me to this point in time. I'm strangely lonely since deleting Facebook, and gloriously liberated.

I never felt I could be myself on Facebook. It's a weird game people play on there. No one is who they really are. For example, I don't have Tourette's in real life. But if you read my posts, one after another, it would appear that I had the internet version of it (which is partly due to the fact that I got to the point that I only felt the need to post things when I was 3/4 of the way through a bottle of wine).

Bottom line is that since I feel like I can be myself on this platform, I'll be pouring my thoughts out here. Unless I come back here in a month or six and delete it all!

Update August 2014: Originally wrote the above in 2012. I just recalled that I had this blog the other day when I was talking to my friend at a local festival and was trying to recall the nicknames my husband calls me, and I remembered that I'd started a list here. I don't think I'll delete this as I'm happy to discover that 2 years after writing this, I'm really happy I never deleted it. I know this is not the best blog on the planet, but it's mine and I will save all of this for now.

It seems to me...

I'm more of a blog reader than a blog writer.

I prefer sunny days to rainy ones, but there is a drought so I'll just be thankful it's raining.

I'll write this even though I might not be back again for a year or more.

Having a job you don't like is better than having no job at all.

No one may read this but I don't care, I feel like writing it.

Dysfunctional Family Circus

The other day I was running around at work like an 8-year-old on a sugar and ADHD high when it occurred to me that sometimes my days at work resemble one of those Family Circus cartoons where the little person is all over the place, documented by the little dotted/dashed line strung all over the page like so many spaghetti noodles dumped on a floor. Then it got me thinking about that sign in Peewee's Big Adventure when he's in the big rig and the road is twisting and turning like Spaghetti Junction on meth. And you don't know what Spaghetti Junction is unless you live in Louisville and possibly then only if you ever drive downtown. The point is that, naturally, I ended up Googling Family Circus and came up with something really cool called Dysfunctional Family Circus, which if you know me means "HELL TO THE YES Dysfuntional Family Circus", that is right up my alley! I've lived in one of those for 30 years now and not sure I'd have it any other way.

I'd recommend you Google it too and take a look. And you know I'm serious if I'm telling you to Google something because telling people to Google something is definitely not something I would ever do like a thousand times a day because I'm certainly not a self-appointed Google slut.

And you're probably thinking why don't I post the link here to make your life easier and to that I say quit being lazy. But mostly it's because I haven't figured out how to post the link without having to type it in one character at a time, and the gods know that sure isn't going to happen because it's not like I have tons of time on my hands here. And also suddenly my CTRL C then CTRL V magic button-combination thingies aren't working and my whole world has been turned upside down by this. I didn't think it was possible for them not work.

I never finish anyth

So I just remembered that I had created a blog. And to my joy, I have no followers. I'm kinda glad, don't really know what I'm doing with this here blog thing anyway. I'm known for writing things and then throwing them away. I'm not really known for that by anyone but myself. Whatever.

I enjoy reading blogs but not sure about writing them. I did come up with a super clever and cute title that only me and my sister will understand, so you're welcome. She doesn't have a computer and doesn't even know about this blog either. I'll tell her later and she will think it's so funny. She's one of the few that gets my sense of humor, and I love telling her the weird and random stuff that amuses me because she always gets it.

The monchichi is because someone once told me that a picture of me when I was little looked like a monchichi, and I'm not sure that it was a compliment but whatever, I'll own it. It's kind of true.

Also, someone once told me if I were an animal, I'd be a platypus. This was in response to me telling her she'd be a mouse if she were an animal, so I wasn't mad about it. Based on this blog entry, you'd think I'm pretty hideous.

BLAH

First post was really dumb. Deleted